new hair cut!

Yep, i chopped it off! I was tired of the same look and decided it was time for a change. I had 6.5 inches cut off. IT will grow back though, i know i will miss it, but oh well! I will have to learn how to style it my way. The stylists can't really do my hair. I had to come home and adjust before going out for sushi night :P What do you all think?

Day 4 of Lean Mass Diet 2500

So good so far, i am liking the variety i am getting in this diet although sometimes the meals are overwhelming with the amounts of stuff i have to eat to grow. I feel like such a fatty. I was getting in a good bit before, but i was eating too much at night time which was not cool. No wonder i was gaining weight, sheesh. I knew it was time to do something about the bulk and have assistance in doing it the right way. I have been reading others experiences while using the Scivation plans and decided to give it a try. Thanks Derek! I am hoping maybe my bf will come down a little, i don’t really know what it is right now. I just ordered some of the Accumeasure digital calipers that test 3 sites as that one was recommended to me. Just ordered my Scivation supps yesterday so i’m ready to get the mass building started! I already feel stronger in the gym and having almost every other day off from the gym is just WEIRD to me. I was lifting 5xs a week back to back, probably a reason my muscles aren’t growing the right way cause they don’t have enough recovery time. I have to do this right if i want some good gains. Also the workouts are shorter which is cool with me. Each week the reps/sets change so it will vary and my body will keep guessing. Now if i can get over this sinus infection i would be all good. Napped most of the day and got all my macros in so i’m good. I want to wake up right tomorrow to go do my leg workout. Big ass breakfast first and then 1-2 hours later the gym. hehe. Dang, i even passed up a sushi invite today cause i want to stay faithful to the plan. I am allowed ONE cheat meal a week so i will wait then to be bad

To go under the knife or not??

So i have really been thinking about it MORE lately and i really want to get a tummy tuck done. I have lost a good bit of weight and got down to really low body fats and STILL have the nasty loose skin and the horrible stretch marks. SO NOT FAIR! I feel like its going to be a roadblock in my journey into figure competitions and bodybuilding (hoping to do crossovers soon, yes lots of work to do). I have already had one consultation and the surgeon said i was a good candidate. I still haven’t made the decision as i wanted to hold out and see if my skin would go back, but i seriously doubt it. I have done my research on how long it takes and on tummy tucks and i’m one of those rare cases where the skin doesn’t go back. I think this also impedes my abs from coming out too. I want to feel comfortable in my skin and the tummy is NOT HELPING. Having 4 kids and yo yo dieting most of my life has completely destroyed my midsection. So you may think that its not that bad as per my pictures, but you see i’m flexing and not moving around much. My sister even noticed it. It really puts a downer on me even when i try not to focus on it. I also feel a bit of discrimination towards it when doing my competitions. The tanner doesn’t really help neither nor the Dermablend (actually makes them appear worse). I have tried a few things to soften and fade my stretch marks, but nothing. I have tried the Jean Wu method, Vitamin K, Trilastin (went through 2 tubes of this stuff), aloe vera, and cocoa butter. No luck, these battle scars are really engraved. I have brought it up to my husband of how i really want the tummy tuck, not only will it rid me of most of the stretch marks, but it will rid me of the nasty loose skin. He even mentioned how i am almost perfect EXCEPT for the tummy I almost cried on that and just want to cry thinking about this. I have gotten some mean comments about them before too Not cool, i say if you don’t like what you see, you can kiss my a$$! Now the only way i would get the funds to cover this operation would be out of my 401k, i would really hate to do this, but i’m getting really desperate! Not only because of competing, but when i go to the beach, i don’t want to be thinking about who is looking at my stretch marks/loose skin crap and how i have to bend over to pick up stuff. It just SUCKS!! I deserve to be happier with myself. I have yet to bring up my plan to my husband. I have a feeling he will not be 100% up for it. He is not the one that is dealing with the issue. Its been 2 years now that i have gotten my body to a stable weight and bodyfat and i know the skin and stretch marks are not going anywhere. Does anyone know if this will cause issues with me competing in judging? I mean will it count against me? I have a very valid reason. What are your thoughts on this? Sorry to ramble on, but this has really been on my mind. I want to continue competing, but would like to take care of this issue first as i think my chances of building a better physique will be higher. Yes, i know about the scar from hip to hip, but i would rather have that then all the stretch marks that plague my stomach I know there are people that are all against surgeries and what not, but i really think some of them would really love to get some procedures done themselves. I say don't down the ones that go through it if they really need it. Offer positive advice if you don't agree with it i say.

Bulking mode!!

I haven't blogged in awhile and have just been relaxing. Well, not really just taking a break from the internet and training hard at the gym. I'm so determined to build more muscles. I just started a new shoulder routine and going to start working them 2xs a week (posted starting point, will post again after done with 8 weeks of training, already 1 week in). I'm going to have to rearrange my lifting plan a bit to give the shoulder workout some days in between to let them recover properly. I'm thinking 2-3 days in between. I took some starter pics of the shoulders (8 week program) and can't wait to see what happens!! My sister is doing the same program too. I am getting my strength back in the gym and i LOVE it!

On another note, i was cleaning out my closets this weekend and found that i STILL had some size 14 and size large work outfits that i was still holding on for some reason? What the hell, i'm DONE being the fat girl! I'm going to list some stuff on Ebay, i got a good bit of stuff that i could get some cash back on. I have my old size large X-Men Storm costume that i just posted and got a few more of the girls that are in great condition. Its just money laying around, you wouldn 't believe it would sell, but it does. My closet is kind of empty now...lol. I have more workout clothes than anything, speaking of which i need to get some workout pants since the seasons are about to change. Heck, i still had some bigger workout clothes that were stashed away, time to get them out of my house!

The other day while at the gym, I was showing my picture in the 2 piece that was taken by a photographer to a few people at the gym including one of the owners. Well, when i was about to leave, he asks me if i could bring in a picture of me like the one i had so he could display it with some other competitors on his display table. I was flattered! I got one and going to take it to him when i drop off my daughter. Maybe they will be nice and give me a free t shirt or something :P Funny, now my oldest daughter Karina is interested in doing bodybuilding after watching my show. There was a young bodybuilder there that inspired her. She asked me if i could find a beginner program for her so she can start working out. She has already started doing a little bit on her own and people at school are starting to notice. She has big legs too and already starting to build as well as her triceps :D I TOTALLY support it if she wants to get into it as long as it doesn't affect her school work. I would be so proud of her! I told her to find out about it first really good before she commits to it and take her time. There is a lot more she could research. Oh i had one of my daughters turn 12 this past Friday. See the pic :) My girls are growing up so fast! Yes, i had a small slice of that delicious Publix cake! Hmmmm, buttercream frosting chocolate cake, who could resist!

The bulking. Well, last week as pretty much semi clean and now i'm trying to get a little better with the eating cause i hate the way my midsection is and the weight gain. I know the scale sucks right about now and most of it could be water retention and what not, but it sucks. The midsection is so weird after doing a show. Mine is really flat on the bottom and in the middle, it looks like i have a tire or something...lol. Not so bad in the mornings, just during the day. I have been drinking lots of water, at least a gallon to help with it, but Amy/my trainer said it will take about 1 month for my body to go back to *normal*. I would like to stay within 125-130 range with around 15% BF offseason so i don't have to bust my butt when i do a few shows early next year. Thats sounds about right? I still want to be able to build, a trainer at my gym tells his girlfriend (figure competitor) that she has to eat big if she wants to continue gaining muscle. I think he believes in dirty bulking which does work for some i guess. I don't think that would work for me though, i would just get fat. I either lose weight fast or gain weight fast...NOT FAIR! I do like the fact that i have a little bit of freedom now though and don't have to think about food constantly. If i want to go out, i don't have to freak out if i forgot a meal and all that. I missed outside food! I'm so bad, i haven't went to Pizza Hut yet and that was something i was really craving towards the end of my comp prep. Just afraid of what it will do to my body, i think i will have to make a stop there this week though to get it out of my system. I'm so crazy, i have started to track my calories again already cause if i don't get an idea of where i'm at, the pounds are going to start creeping up on me. I need some structure and don't want to be guessing. Well, thats about all i got right now. Just enjoying life a little more since i don't have to be so strict witht the diet and all. I'm still a total gym rat though :P No overtraining for me though. Train smarter, not harder as my friends tell me.

2nd figure comp experience

Hi everyone. Thanks SO MUCH for ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!! YOU ALL ROCK!! xo!

I just got back in earlier today from TN and really tired! I got some napping in. I have been enjoying some good food and drinking plenty of water to flush all the junk out. I already feel kind of sick

Well, i didn't place in my class yesterday unfortunately, but i feel great though. I know i did better this time around and brought a better package.

The judges were looking for a more muscular look it seemed at this show. The overall winner used to be a bodybuilder not too long ago and now doing figure competitions. She had huge shoulders too which i lack. Anyways, the experience was great.

This was the first time this show was done and it was well organized to be a first show. All the staff was pretty friendly and i got a lot of free goodies at during the Expo.

There were 9 competitors in my class, i was placed in the short class which was kind of weird. Pretty much anyone 5'4" and below (i was just right under 5'4") were in this class. They were awarding trophies to the top 5 in each class.

The other classes were much smaller so everyone in those pretty much went home with a trophy. I felt very confident in my posing especially at the night show. I pretty much followed everything my trainer told me to do until after the night show.

I was a little surprised that i wasn't called in the top 5, but then again i was glad it was over with and ready to eat and drink. SO THIRSTY! I was also surprised that they didn't really judge or count off for bad posing and smiling cause i saw that happening a good bit in my class.

Some of these girls have competed before in other TN shows and i believe there were like 1 or 2 new competitors in this class. They all looked pretty good though, but i have to tell you that some really needed to work on that backside...lol.

Lots of jiggle backstage. Yikes! Anyways, i will continue training and focusing on building mass during the fall and winter seasons. I want to do another show sometime early next year if and when i feel that my upper body and backside have improved some.

Those are going to be my focus areas. I went to the judges for feedback after the show and spoke to 2 of the judges. They said that the only thing is that i needed to lose more water next time so i will come in tighter.

Basically they were saying i was holding water in my hams and all and should start cutting the water out starting Wednesday or something like that. They said i should have experimented with this as different bodies respond differently.

I told my trainer about this and she totally disagrees. She stated that figure girls cut water out by Friday and not sooner since figure is FIGURE and not bodybuilding (more dry look). They also said that my tan needs to be DARKER.

Ay ya ya, i thought it was pretty dark as i got spray tanned at the show and had a good dark base tan to start with. UGH! We got further into detail with the judges and asked what exactly are they looking for and if they are still going for a softer figure look.

He said that is what they are being told to look for and that the shoulders should not look like cannon balls and the separation should not be there. They want a feminine look with softer lines and the judge was even drawing what they are looking for which was TOTALLY contradicting what they chose in this show.

I even spoke up and said, "But the girl that placed high in my class and overall had exactly what you say that you are not looking for (girl in the red with big shoulders)". He states that he can not comment or dispute with me on that and had a funny look on his face. Hmmmmm.

Whatever! I know i did good and worked very hard to where i'm at now. I already talked to my trainer about my future plans and plan on getting back in the gym this week for some light cardio & lifting.

Next week i will take off from the gym as she recommended. I will still be focusing on building my shoulders a bit and working on my hamstrings and glutes. Watch out cause i'm NOT done! Oh, i got a picture with Guntar Schlierkamp that my sister took.

I will have to get it from her and post it. What a hunk!

Here is a link to more photos of the show on my photobucket account.

http://s21.photobucket.com/...show/?start=all

2 weeks out from 2nd figure comp and feelings

Will i make it?? This was the question last time too around this time. These final weeks are GRUESOME!! I'm ready to have some off time and will not diet around summer next year. Its too hard on me and takes some what of a toll on the family. My husband has really annoyed me today and blaming everything on my diet. He does nothing every weekend (he has like tons of things to do on his agenda) and he just expects me to be happy with that?? NOT! Of course you are really going to hear it since i'm carb depleted fool! LOL. I would be mad at him even if i wasn't dieting. he just really makes me mad with this kind of crap! Threatning me how he won't buy my foods anymore and i really doubt he will make it to this show. This really sucks without the support of your supposed loved one. I do everything pretty much around here that i need to do and take care of my girls so i don't know what the big deal is about. Yes, its an expensive hobby, but its not all year round. He has expenses too with his truck stuff and what not. I just feel really unappreciated right now and wish he would be more understanding. Then my sister tells me that she doesn't know if she is going to be able to make it to my show neither. WTH? I would love to have her there, i know its not required for her though. Hey, at least Beka and Carla (stinkerstink) and MissDonnaLee from tracker confirmed they would be there. Oh yeah, my oldest daughter is going to be there for me of course. She is pretty much the only one i can count on. I keep asking myself lately if this is really worth the sacrifices and if i should just quit now especially with my husband whining about it. I just want to knock him out sometimes with his rude azz comments. I really have to bite my tongue on some stuff. Ok, enough about the ranting. I just really needed to let that out. Anyways, here are my 2 weeks out progress pictures and the link to the show i am planning to do: http://www.easttnsportsexpo.com/bodybuilding.php

Cool that they have a spray tanning booth there and i thought i would mention it to my husband, but he was complaining about the cost. He complained about applying it last time and what a pain it is. I did my lower body, he only did the back...wtf?? Men are such crybabies! He better be glad i'm not still fat and uncaring about my health. I guess i look alright to be 2 weeks out. I want that pooch gone already! The water deplete should fix that though. I really need to get finishing up that one piece this weekend. Alright, thanks for listening :)

100% day!! ROCK ON!

WOW, i'm really proud of myself for sticking to my guns so to speak today and yesterday wasn't so bad neither with the eating. I got to work on my back posing a bit and will do more full posing practice tonight before my bath. I want to polish my posing and be READY for that stage! I took a few back shots today and i'm liking the thickness i'm seeing! Posing needs improvement and i don't know what is up with the crooked stuff. Still WAY better than last comp prep. My upper body has improved and it really shows on these pictures. When i pose, i feel like my upper body doesn't look that much different. Tomorrow another week of hellacious double cardios and workouts. God give me strength! I know i can't do anything without Him :) I pray for strength everyday and pray that i can continue to be a great mother and wife even with all of this going on. Its that balance game that we have to figure out. Today is a rest day and thats how i'm going to keep it. My muscles need that rest and recovery, last time i overdid it on workouts. This time its different, even though last time i didn't do double cardios, i feel like i'm doing A LOT better this time. 3 more weeks TILL MY TROPHY AND PIZZA!!! My oldest daughter is already asking me what kind of candy i want after my competition as she will have it ready for me like last time. Oh, what a treat!! I swear last time i ate like 3 in a row. HAHA!