2 weeks out from 2nd figure comp and feelings

Will i make it?? This was the question last time too around this time. These final weeks are GRUESOME!! I'm ready to have some off time and will not diet around summer next year. Its too hard on me and takes some what of a toll on the family. My husband has really annoyed me today and blaming everything on my diet. He does nothing every weekend (he has like tons of things to do on his agenda) and he just expects me to be happy with that?? NOT! Of course you are really going to hear it since i'm carb depleted fool! LOL. I would be mad at him even if i wasn't dieting. he just really makes me mad with this kind of crap! Threatning me how he won't buy my foods anymore and i really doubt he will make it to this show. This really sucks without the support of your supposed loved one. I do everything pretty much around here that i need to do and take care of my girls so i don't know what the big deal is about. Yes, its an expensive hobby, but its not all year round. He has expenses too with his truck stuff and what not. I just feel really unappreciated right now and wish he would be more understanding. Then my sister tells me that she doesn't know if she is going to be able to make it to my show neither. WTH? I would love to have her there, i know its not required for her though. Hey, at least Beka and Carla (stinkerstink) and MissDonnaLee from tracker confirmed they would be there. Oh yeah, my oldest daughter is going to be there for me of course. She is pretty much the only one i can count on. I keep asking myself lately if this is really worth the sacrifices and if i should just quit now especially with my husband whining about it. I just want to knock him out sometimes with his rude azz comments. I really have to bite my tongue on some stuff. Ok, enough about the ranting. I just really needed to let that out. Anyways, here are my 2 weeks out progress pictures and the link to the show i am planning to do: http://www.easttnsportsexpo.com/bodybuilding.php

Cool that they have a spray tanning booth there and i thought i would mention it to my husband, but he was complaining about the cost. He complained about applying it last time and what a pain it is. I did my lower body, he only did the back...wtf?? Men are such crybabies! He better be glad i'm not still fat and uncaring about my health. I guess i look alright to be 2 weeks out. I want that pooch gone already! The water deplete should fix that though. I really need to get finishing up that one piece this weekend. Alright, thanks for listening :)

100% day!! ROCK ON!

WOW, i'm really proud of myself for sticking to my guns so to speak today and yesterday wasn't so bad neither with the eating. I got to work on my back posing a bit and will do more full posing practice tonight before my bath. I want to polish my posing and be READY for that stage! I took a few back shots today and i'm liking the thickness i'm seeing! Posing needs improvement and i don't know what is up with the crooked stuff. Still WAY better than last comp prep. My upper body has improved and it really shows on these pictures. When i pose, i feel like my upper body doesn't look that much different. Tomorrow another week of hellacious double cardios and workouts. God give me strength! I know i can't do anything without Him :) I pray for strength everyday and pray that i can continue to be a great mother and wife even with all of this going on. Its that balance game that we have to figure out. Today is a rest day and thats how i'm going to keep it. My muscles need that rest and recovery, last time i overdid it on workouts. This time its different, even though last time i didn't do double cardios, i feel like i'm doing A LOT better this time. 3 more weeks TILL MY TROPHY AND PIZZA!!! My oldest daughter is already asking me what kind of candy i want after my competition as she will have it ready for me like last time. Oh, what a treat!! I swear last time i ate like 3 in a row. HAHA!

3 weeks out and trying the different suggested poses :P

Well, these pics are looking a little better. The back pose is still a bitch! Working on that! I'm practicing almost everyday now. 3 MORE WEEKS!!! Yesterday i weighed in at 123.5lbs, but this morning i weighed in at 126lbs (few cheats yesterday...opps!). I had to help my dad out with some stuff and had lunch with him. He INSISTED i eat something and after i kindly said no, he still ordered me something. I love my dad to bits, but dang! He says he likes to see people eat and that i could use a few pounds...lol. Gotta love him. I even told him that i already ate something and still. I have to meet up with him again so i gotta think of what to do. I may just be polite and order a small salad or something before he orders me something. I'm too close to let all this hard work go to waste although i think i will be alright. So i may look a little carbed up or pudgy due to yesterday's slip ups. After lunch i was a craving fool and gave into my evil food demons on somethings. WTF?? Alright, workouts are going good, haven't missed one yet! I'm about to eat some breakfast and head out to the gym. LATERS!

4 weeks out comparison pics from last show to now!

So i was curious to see how much i have changed since this time around on my first comp. I would have thought to be the same, but i have improved not only with a bit more muscle, but the posing is better. Yes, i still have to work on it cause its still OFF. Freaking back pose is my arch enemy :P I like the cut of my new suit especially on the back. I think it flatters me better. Did i say that right? hehe. What do you think? I'm so ready to build up my shoulders for next year!

CONFESSIONS and stressing! 4 weeks out though!

YAY!! blogger is working now for me :D It was having some issues, my comp journal was lost and i couldn't post to it for some reason...ok here goes:

Been super busy lately and stressing! My daughters are about to go back to school and i'm trying to make sure they are ready as far as school supplies and clothes. They are pretty much set except for those list of things they will need when they get to school. You know, the final list of supplies :P Also finding out recently that i'm doing my 2nd figure comp alone and my sister will not be on the stage with me was a real downer. I know i can do this, i have done it alone for my first time. I know my sister will be there in the audience, but i was really hoping to share all the moments with her and the pigging out afterwards...hahaha!! You know how all that goes, freaking thirsty AND hungry! I am so looking forward to the peanut butter balls when carbing up the day of and the nice foods/candies after my comp. Tastes SOOOO rewarding after being done with the stage and all the thrills :D I have it in my mind that i really want to win this show, but i feel like its not going to happen because of the lack of size in my arms. I really need to stop thinking like that, because the judges may be looking for something different anyways and who knows, i may be lucky and the competition might not be that bad. Thinking WINNER WINNER, PIZZA DINNER...heheh, i know shut up with the pizza already! HA! Man, it would be nice to go home with one of those sword trophies. I called the lady over the show to get a little more info and she said that the overall winners and something like that get swords, HOW COOL! Just taking a trophy home is nice though :)

So like the weekends are the worst for me and knowing that i only have 4 weeks left is kind of driving me crazy. I just got my diet this past Friday and starting it tomorrow. Less complex carbs and some other changes, BUT I still get to have my lean steak..YAY! My diet has really changed since last time as i leaned out TOO fast and lost muscle. I do get the double whammy cardio this time around for some reason, but only totaling 1 hour a day. Only moderate cardio and my trainer told me specifically what to do for cardio so i won't be overdoing it. She already got onto me for running and doing the cardio classes...LOL. Love this woman, she believes in tough love for sure. I'm just hard headed and if details or explanations aren't given as to why and how, i tend to do it MY way. She asked that i get my bodyfat checked again so i will have to get on that this week. I also have to get my plain one piece ordered this week and a few more stones, that is really stressing me. I started going to the tanning bed this week too, just signed up for a month. I'm not a tanner so this is going to be interesting, i just don't want to be the lightest chick up there on stage like i was last time. My face is a little burnt from the 2 sessions of tanning so far though...OUCH!

Now, i got to control the evil snacking i have been doing lately, especially when the weekends come around and I'm bored to death. Sometimes i don't even give it a second thought, i have just been reaching for some club crackers thinking to myself "oh, 2 or 3 won't hurt, it will probably help me"...you know those mind games we play with ourselves. Then the peanuts...oh the peanuts! Lately since my hubby cooked up a bunch of boiled spicy peanuts (love these) i have been reaching for some of these and not taking my flaxseed cause heck they are both good fats right? I feel like i shouldn't be doing this, but i am still making progress so my mind says what the heck. I keep telling myself, oh once i get to 2-3 weeks out i will be 100%...I NEED TO BE 100% NOW DAMNIT!! Someone kick my butt already :P Oh yeah, Fridays we have been going out for dinner to eat at the steakhouse (using my steak meal here) and i have the side caesar salad with no crotons, but those stupid peanuts too that they have there...those peanuts call my name! EVIL! I have the 8oz sirloin (only supposed to be 5oz, but i'm freaking HUNGRY!) with a bit of the steak sauce and a plain sweet potato with cinnamon since they don't have brown rice, i just feel like it keeps me sane and a dinner date with my husband because i so miss going out with him to eat. We used to go out all the time on the weekends. Geez, i feel like i don't have a life sometimes! Alright, end of vent and confessions.

Almost 7 weeks out…tick tock!!

Oh yeah, its getting close! GASP! I’m feeling really good about my prep this time. I’m training WAY HARDER in the gym and doing different stuff. I feel so much more motivated in the gym too. What a world of difference it makes! I just don’t like it when people or in my way and just chit chatting, man get the F out my way! yeah, i get really hard core when i get in my ZONE. Hey, my competition probably isn’t slowing down so i gotta give it my all and that is what i plan to keep on doing to the FINISH LINE!

The diet is pretty good right now and i feel like my energy isn’t too bad YET. The water intake is A CHALLENGE. Workouts don’t suffer too much as long as i eat all of my meals and supplement right. Now that i take CEE consistently, i can tell it REALLY helps in my workouts. The diet gets so BORING and thank goodness my trainer was nice enough to allow a cheat meal this last weekend, oh yeah it was SUSHI!! It was YUMMO and it was a bit extended I had some mexican chips with salsa…BAD SANDRA!! Oh well, one little mishap is not going to stop me in my tracks. I don’t quit so easily. When i start something, I INTEND to finish it. Taking some progress pics tomorrow, hopefully the cheats didn’t do any harm. I don’t really think so because i still feel leaner day by day. I am getting my body fat measured again tomorrow. Just curious to see where it is since my diet has changed recently and then the cheat meal. Here i come TN!!!

10 weeks out!! YEAH BABY!!

Yep, already 10 weeks out! Technically speaking, i’m a little less Tomorrow it will be 9.5 weeks out. My diet has changed this week so I’m feeling more carb deprived. I will get through this though, i think an authorized cheat meal is in store I got my body fat reading today and it has come down some, YESSSS!!! I’m sitting at 13.22% from 14.81% just 2 weeks ago. My weight is about 129.5lbs right now. My last comp, i was about 119lbs when i reached 13% body fat I would think that 8% would be good for my body at comp time (please oh please abs!). Hopefully i won’t come in too hard…haha..YEAH RIGHT, like thats going to happen! Dang, i got some headaches right now! SHEESH! Drinking all this water, i need to invest in some toilet paper…hehe. Does going to the potty a zillion times a day count as cardio?? IT SHOULD!!! Still doing cardio once a week now, i REALLY don’t miss doing cardio, but sometimes i throw in some jump roping at the end of my leg workouts..i’m an animal at the gym REPRESENT!! Alright, enough rambling from my carb deprived flat muscle self!! SSHHOOOOOO!!!!